Nervous Tongue

Seven years,
I’ve gone without.
Seven years,
I learned to be with myself.
Seven years,
I worked.
Nothing but.
Seven years,
I’ve waited.

Now what do I say?

Certainly not the stupid stuff
my mouth has been spewing
for the past hour.

I can hear my head groaning
-Oh my god!
Hey, don’t listen to him.
Tongue is nervous.
He’s been silent for so long.
My ears do work.
If mouth would just shut up.



“So time has passed.”
I told her over the phone.
“I work for French fries, orange juice and a beer.
I play the game.
I dance the dance.
My mind and I don’t get along.
Sometimes I just go outside.
or smoke a cigarette.
Then I come back
and establish myself back
in front of stainless steel,
heat lamps, & cutting boards,
with the heat of the French stove
basking my back at 451,
asking myself

I’d ask you.


Too Early

I wanted the light inside
to awaken
not just flood in
so bright
that it blinded us.

I wanted our eyelids
to rise with the sun,
ray by ray
echoing through the depths
of the aged tree
within the tranquility
of a spring
rolling from the mountain ridge
swept into the river
to make its way to the ocean.

I wanted our dreams
to drift
waking at the edge
of the great falls;
by the edge,
fishing pole
put down.

I wanted to orbit the star
as I studied the magnitude,
not collide
scorching sheets
and sleeping bag.

“Times are hard for dreamers.”
Name-Giver stated.

yea, maybe
but I can cook a good meal.
What does that give me?

“Probably not that much”

But I can do it
for 250 people in one night.

“What does that matter?”


Go to sleep.”



When I forget how to speak,
I write.
Over and over again.
I spread my heart upon the paper
trying to make some sense out of this mess.

She said.
-Your feelings are misplaced;
we’re just friends,
forget the implications
and the hidden flirtations.

But tonight, I say.
-What I feel is real.
The frustration of all this
has caused me to sink
down to the bottom of my sister’s pond
with the gold fish to stay away from the cold.


What humans have over other animals.

I have over the years tried to figure out

 what, we, humans have that other animals don’t.

Down through the years I have heard many different things.

Compassion, tools, music, and many other things

That are not true.

I have said the one thing humans have that animals don’t,

Is that humans cook.

Well I think,

 Organized sports

 is another thing animals don’t have.


When wine was cheap

I remember a time

when we’d sit on the creek bank,

With a jug of homemade BlackBerry wine.

An old beat up epiphone

Singing our silly songs

Till the sun would rise over the tree tops.
Those times are gone,

And I’m sitting on a porch now.

Remembering the times 

when wine was cheap,

And you by my side.

pounding on an old bucket,

And me with my red hollowbody epi.
Yeah when the wine was cheap.

Life was a lot simpler.

2019, notes, thoughts, Uncategorized

Thought 13dec2019

life is a frightful entity,
stupid, crude, and cruel.
It can not be helped.
we are responsible,
and must hold ourselves accountable.

It has been written
and preached
when one is born,
and immediately is guilty.
How can that be?
Is being innocent, a crime?
What is the crime, really?
I have a wild impulse to smash something.
to completely let loose
with a baseball bat.
but where?