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When I stepped from the stage
Ray’d always be there first.
Hug me, and whisper something funny,
I’d smile, the stage growl leaving my face.

Lo’d be the second.
She’d hug me.
Then came Sarge and T.C.
I’d meet their fists with mine.

And then came my ‘sister’s,’
Those adopted woman fluttering about
flattering me with every word from their mouths.

By this time, Ray’d be back from the bar,
flushing the ‘sisters’ from around me,
with a Heineken in her hand for me.
Sarge and Lo would then come back,
Say goodnight and go home.
T.C.’d go back to his girlfriend,
Have a few more beers
Then he too would come up to me and Ray
and say goodbye.

Ray and I would hang out
Talk until then.
That’s when he’d go back to the bar
Where she’d stay,
Drinking, chatting with the bartender.
Every once in awhile
She’d look for me.
And the same time I’d look over at her,
To make sure she was still there.
Our eyes would meet
I’d nod my head
and she’d smile.

By this time the ‘sisters’ arrive again.
Flurrying about me.
They were afraid of Ray.
And for good reason,
Ray didn’t like them.
She called ‘em Pigeons.
Whenever she came up to me,
They’d pull back,
chirping among themselves.
She did it frequently
Toying with ‘em.

I was usually the next to leave,
going up to Ray at the bar,
while a ‘sister’ waited for me at the door.

Ray stayed at the bar
Drinking,
Until the bar closed.
She’d stumble a block down to the building
Which held her apartment. To pass out.

Charlie, the bouncer, usually walked her to the building.

This was the ritual of my performances.

I was such a frail child,
A solitary student
with few friends.
I stood alone. Aloof.
Transfixed by the movement of the rustling leaves
as I stared up at the sky
through the dense foliage of the trees
without joy or sadness, just fear.
It flowed through my veins
as I wished for Eagle wings.

I remained hidden within the woods for years,
My feet became roots
planting themselves deep within the earth.
However, my sisters, in their rage
fought off the world for me, for a time,
with lunch boxes, rocks, and pine cones.

I crept through the darkest entrails of the forest.
When I stuck my head out from their shelter,
with shock, my life widened out across the sky
hidden by concrete mountains
and the earth webbed with tar rivers.
They were no where to be seen.

Blunt and Fact
are the first two words which come to mind.
A massive Hercules,
its four propellers cutting through air and cloud,
brings home the loud drunken voice
complaining to the dark.
Little by little the world rose up
and drowned you.

My wild unfortunate proud father,
between the drops of rain
which perforated the sky
you stood not allowed to dance.

They couldn’t tame you
So they put you in a cage.
Your first crime, however,
was being an ‘Indian.’
It was a daily happening
which groaned through your blood.
That inferno is scarcely gone.
It gazes back at me
through the rear-view mirror.

Mother,
My mouth trembles to describe you;
Your ever present humility,
not used to this bitter poverty
brought on by my father’s unwillingness to work.

Those gentle hands
which wiped the tears
from my swollen red eyes
each time after the other kids beat and ran me home
because of my blood and long hair.

Oh mother, how could I not
go on remembering you,
Even when I was able to stand on my own
going off into the world by myself
You still loved me.
Even though you didn’t understand my reasons
and actions.
You always took my collect calls.