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2019, New Poems: workings and beginnings., notes

Every time Wolf walked upon the line,

Every time Wolf walked upon the line,
He’d touch the French Stove
With his fingertips.

As he dragged his fingertips
Across the hot metal,
The heat burned through his skin
To warm his soul.

It reminded him of his grandmother
Of the mornings he’d sit at the table,
watching her cook,
And listen to the pans
clanked on the hot metal of the stove,
And she’d tell him stories,
Of the past, and her imagined future.

And he wondered,
Why every emotion costs so much.?

2019, New Poems: workings and beginnings., questions

Question

why do we do the things we do?
why are we the way we are?
with traits like shyness,
Generosity
Integrity
Loyalty
Devotion
Loving
Kindness
Sincerity
Self-control
Peacefulness
Faithfulness
Patience
Determination
Persistence
Adventurous
Fairness
Cooperation
Tolerance
Optimism
Spirituality
Dishonesty
Disloyalty
Unkindness
Meanness
Rudeness
Disrespectfulness
Impatience
Greed
Abrasiveness
Pessimism
Cruelty
Unmercifulness
Narcissism
Obnoxious
Malicious
Pettiness
Quarrelsome
Caustic
Selfishness
Unforgiving
Dominance
Confidence
Persuasiveness
Ambitiousness
Bossy
Resourcefulness
Decisiveness
Charisma
Authority
Enthusiasm
Boldness
Proactive
Playful
Zany
Active
Wild
Silliness
Affectionate
Funny
Rough
Talkative
Rowdy
Smart
Fidgety
Lively
Impatient
Stubborn

Living w/out a Muse: an expedition, POETRY, The Uncollected Poems

Ocean [with forward.]

I was going through some milk crates,
which is where I keep my writing and
I found a book I was working on
“Living w/out a Muse: an expedition.”

But like a lot of my books,
they end up packed away.
cause as a chef,
I do not have the time to
work on and edit.

The book had a few poems
that had been in other books,
but most where poems
that were floating around.
and this though I had added to a book,
as what musicians would call
a hidden track.

This poem was one of those that just come;
and you figure it out later.
I wrote it on a cig break at work
on a card board box in the change room,
and then, went back to work.
I had forgotten all about it;
until, one of the dishwashers brought the box to me.

Ocean

Days go by and I do not understand a word you say,
as your waves rise and lower upon the bed.
I think maybe I should have begun to understand;
but the words you speak are the notes of a song
sung many generations ago in a language
handed down only in etched stone.

The melody of your voice is simple but steady
and who can not admire the grace of step,
the giving of skin,
as you roll across sea-oats and shell beds.
The droplets of sweat that form and glisten
are both wet and salty to the touch of the tongue.

Nevertheless,
I am afraid as all men probably are,
apprehensive
as I attempt to swim to the core of your soul,
that you would storm and I drown.
So I build walls of rock and concrete upon the sands
to try to keep you at bay.
And only visit you when your waters are calm.
But this doesn’t work, a single wave from you
would drown my house.

So I have chosen the only solution:
to camp out upon the shell beds in your arms
under the stars
and wait and listen for a reply,
for you to instruct me how to fathom your love.

Uncategorized

Trying to learn how to swim.

I have never taken the easy road,
I don’t think it’s in my blood.
Maybe God has a different path for me to follow,
maybe I’m just stubborn
and follow the phrase
I said so many times when I was a kid
“I’ll do it myself.”
And let me tell you
I have.

Many of the things I’ve done.
haven’t been the smartest things.
But when I decide to do something,
I don’t wade in and swim on the surface;
no, I hold my breath
and dive deep down into the river.
When I come back up
gasping for air,
trying to swim back to shore,
its only then that I suddenly remember
I can’t swim.

As I try to doggy paddle
against the current to shore.
struggling to keep my head above the water,
there are hands that reach out,
to help me back to the shore,
the hands of my family and friends.
which pull me out of the river,
and wrap me in the blanket of their love,
and lend me their strength.
as they bitch me out
for being so stupid.

Though their words are harsh
and many times true,
I can see it in their eyes,
that terrible fear,
and it makes me sad,
cause I never wanted to hurt them.
I was just trying to learn how to swim.